I’ve no hint of inspiration.
I’ve run out of ammo and there’s no way to replenish.
I scout the field around me and all I wanna do is run away.
And so I did.
Going to places with YOU seemed fun.
I thought it unfair that YOU get to see everything all at the same time and my eyes could only see, what?! Just the significant 360° around me. I thought maybe I should also try things on my own so that I could prove to myself that “Yeah, YOU were right I should never have taken this path nor strayed from the one YOU made for me.”
But then, I just have to know….
And so I took that path.. that path.. AWAY from YOU.
And it was fun. All my life, I never knew there was so much to see. What I found great was that there was no more YOU to block me. Haha. YOU told me before not to do this, or that, but man! I never thought I was missing out on so much. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always known I was gonna end up with YOU and I do, I do trust and love YOU and I know I mattered that much to YOU too.
Our relationship sometimes feels suffocating and all I want is a gasp of air to save me from this drowning feeling.
Oh how our dates always seemed romantic. YOU would always whisper sweet somethings to my ear. Aaaaah. What life.
But it’s gone, lost its flavor…
YOU were too far for me to reach, too perfect and I.. I was a mess.
I couldn’t face YOU straight in the face even though I loved YOU so much.
It’s not YOU, it’s me.
And I couldn’t let me be the downfall of YOU.
And so, without anyone knowing what was happening between us..
I saw the world. I loved it. And YOU not being in it. YOU being not overly controlling gave me the freedom to be who I really am.
I danced like wildfire. I ran like a whirlwind. I faced people with masks. I.. I lived and sang for the world to hear.
I WAS LIVING MY LIFE.
But when I took a look at me, I was damaged and broken.
I always had scars, the ones that brought no pain.
I didn’t know the wind could do that.
I had no more voice, no wonder to speak about.
I guess singing could do that too.
My face was awful, I don’t even remember how it looked like.
Ahh. Maybe this part had always been like that.
and YOU knew it had always been like that.
My Mum told me YOU’ve been coming to our home.
My sisters told me YOU’ve been calling non-stop.
My friends told me YOU’ve been talking to them.
don’t YOU get it?! We’re through. I don’t want YOU or anything about YOU messing with my life.
How dare YOU make me realize that YOU’re the only one I need?
How dare YOU look at me lovingly and say YOU still love me?
How dare YOU, after all the effort I’ve done to get away from YOU, still chase after me and tell me YOU are still ever so fond of me?
YOU could just be there along with all the big-wigs in YOUr life and still be happy. I’ve no money to give. I’ve no career to show. No accomplishment to ever match YOUr glory up there.
in front of me, begging me to go back to YOU.
“Let’s take little steps. We could start all over again and still fall in love with each other every day. I want you. All of you. With me. Please, let’s build our future together. I’ve always understood who you are, what you could become, both good and bad, and I’ve always loved them. The place I’m at is so different without you. Come home with me.“
Suddenly, everything felt so surreal. All that fun I’ve been having fell pale in comparison to the few 66 words he told me.
What I’ve searched for in the world was with me all along.
And then it struck me..
HE WAS THE ONLY ONE NECESSARY TO ME.
“I have the right to do anything,” you say–but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”–but not everything is constructive.
—1 Corinthians 10:23